


The Wrong Vessel

by supernatural9917



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean in Denial, Emotional Castiel, Fluff, Human Castiel in the Bunker, Jealous Castiel, Light Angst, M/M, Sam Needs Brain Bleach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 12:23:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12935193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernatural9917/pseuds/supernatural9917
Summary: Cas picks the film for movie night with Dean, and it bring up a lot of emotions, including regret about his choice of vessel. Dean figures it out eventually.





	The Wrong Vessel

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to athaclena for reading this over and helping me get the beginning sorted out!

Movie nights had become their new thing as they settled into bunker life with a human Cas around. Dean was determined to educate the former angel on the pop culture he held dear, in the hopes that Cas would finally understand the references he often made in casual conversation. It had started with the important things, like Star Wars and Patrick Swayze’s entire oeuvre, and continued through westerns, film noir, horror, and Golden Age classics. Occasionally Sam joined them if he particularly liked the selected movie, but it had sort of unofficially become a Dean and Cas thing.

Sometimes they would reach into the big bowl of popcorn at the same time, and their fingers would brush together for a second, but Dean definitely didn’t feel his heart skip a beat whenever that happened, because that would be ridiculous. And speaking of popcorn, that was why they had to sit right next to each other on the couch when they watched movies, because they were sharing the popcorn. No sense having two separate bowls of popcorn, that would double the amount of dishwashing, and that was just wasteful. When the popcorn was finished, well, there was no particular reason to move apart at that point, because they were already comfortable. It was all perfectly innocent and didn’t mean a thing.

The time Cas fell asleep on Dean’s shoulder was just one of those funny things. Cas had been tired, but he’d insisted on having movie night anyway, and not changing what they had planned just because he was a bit sleepy. Unfortunately, Lawrence of Arabia was just too long and not quite exciting enough to keep Cas awake, and his head had drooped against Dean in such an endearing manner that Dean didn’t have the heart to move him. Sam had walked past and raised a questioning eyebrow, but Dean had just shrugged with the opposite shoulder and gave a little smile that said, ‘Whatcha gonna do?’ Sam had just chuckled a bit and gone back to whatever he’d been doing, and once he was gone, Dean had let his own head tilt against Cas’s. They both woke up when the louder music of the DVD menu came on at the end of the credits. Neither of them mentioned it later.

Dean was generally pretty emotionally constipated, but as the editor of those damn Supernatural books pointed out, he did have his moments of allowing the odd manly tear to stain his cheek. He wasn’t ashamed to have cried any of the times Sam had died, or when John had exchanged his own life for Dean’s, or when he thought they’d lost Cas, be it to archangel dicks or leviathans. What he did not expect was to cry like a fucking baby during a fucking children’s cartoon for fuck’s sake. It was stupid- the movie was supposed to be about some old guy flying his house off somewhere with balloons, and it was supposed to have a talking dog and be funny, and instead they start it with this ridiculously perfect love story with a fucking heartbreaking ending and Dean just lost it. Cas actually paused the disc because Dean was bent over double crying his eyes out, sobbing in fact, and he didn’t even know why it affected him so strongly. He sat up again, taking in a deep breath and wiping his face, and then Cas put his arm around his shoulders to comfort him. Dean leaned into him, just letting himself be coddled for a bit, but when they started the film again, they didn’t really move. It was probably for the best, because at the end, when Carl found Ellie’s last message, both Dean and Cas fell apart.

The movie was not mentioned again. Neither was the cuddling- no, the manly, completely innocent comforting of a friend- brother, practically- that had only superficially resembled cuddling but was definitely not as chick flicky as that. It certainly hadn’t made Dean feel all safe and warm inside, that’s for sure.

It was just a coincidence that Dean picked some pretty long movies to watch the next few times, and a shame that Cas fell asleep during all of them. During the second one, he’d even brought his feet up to curl up on the couch, not just his head but his entire side pressed up against Dean as he snored softly. Dean didn’t feel any fluttering in his stomach, and the fingertips that brushed along Cas’s jaw were only to check that Cas really was asleep, and not as any kind of caress. That would just be crazy.

**********

Cas had chosen the film for once; City of Angels was definitely not the sort of thing Dean would have chosen, veering far too deeply into chick flick territory, but Cas had been drawn to the fallen angel storyline, so Dean wasn’t going to refuse; Sam was off doing a little solo hunt in Texas, so he wasn’t around to catch Dean in the act, plus it had Meg Ryan when she was still super cute, making it almost justifiable. He even paid attention in case it gave any good tips on interacting with fallen angels, and it was actually pretty accurate when it came to what dicks most angels were. In fact, Dean was almost really getting into the story, so it wasn’t just Cas who gasped when Meg Ryan’s character got hit by a truck and then died in her fallen angel’s arms. Cas stopped the video and looked to be in genuine distress.

‘I don’t like that film, Dean. I don’t want to watch the rest of it.’

‘OK Cas, you don’t have to.’

‘That isn’t a good film, Dean. It’s a very bad film about fallen angels.’

‘Yeah, definitely. We won’t watch it.’

‘I find it very upsetting.’

‘OK, do you want to talk about it?’

‘No. I want to go to my room.’

‘Sure Cas, no problem. I’ll be here if you need me, ok.’

‘Don’t watch the film Dean, it’s very bad.’

‘I won’t, I promise.’ Cas nodded and stormed back to his room. Dean quickly Googled to find out the rest of the movie, and it sounded like a pretty dumb ending anyway. Weren’t chick flicks supposed to have sappy romantic endings? This one sounded depressing. He switched off Netflix and started flipping through the channels until he came to a Dr. Sexy marathon. It was about 4 episodes in when Cas returned, looking very red-eyed, as if he’d been crying for a while. ‘How you doing Cas?’ Cas sat back down and leaned against Dean, who put his arm back around Cas’s shoulders.

‘I had a very cathartic emotional outburst. I feel better now.’

‘Good, I was worried about you.’

‘I’m very happy, you know.’

‘Are you?’

‘Yes. I became upset with the film, but I don’t want you to think that I’m unhappy. I don’t regret my choice to remain here. I’m happy living in the bunker with you. And Sam.’ Dean reached over with his free hand and laid it on top of Cas’s.

‘I’m happy you’re here too. And so is Sam.’ Cas looked up at him with those sad blue eyes.

‘I would want to be here even if I could still get into heaven.’ Then he laid his head back down onto Dean’s shoulder. Dean was, of course, deeply touched by that statement, and if his heart was pounding in his chest, it was probably just because of the reminder of the Metatron problem. Probably. They continued watching Dr. Sexy in silence, but at the next commercial, Cas spoke again. ‘I chose the wrong vessel, Dean. I’m sorry.’

‘What are you talking about, Cas?’

‘My vessel. It’s the wrong vessel.’ He pulled away from Dean slightly to be able to look him in the eye, and clamped a hand on Dean’s shoulder. ‘I didn’t know then. I should have chosen a better vessel, but I didn’t know. I didn’t know this would be the wrong one.’ His shoulders slumped and he returned to his previous position.

‘Why is it the wrong vessel?’

‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ Cas mumbled, and Dean didn’t press him.

 

Cas spent the next day moping around the bunker, and the day after that. On the third day, Sam called from Texas to say he’d be leaving before the weekend rush hour started, and that made Dean realise that it was Friday.

‘What time are you getting here? Cas and I are gonna go out tonight, you could meet us at the bar.’

‘I don’t know, but probably kinda late, and I’ll be wiped. I’ll just see you in the morning.’ After hanging up, Dean walked up to the dishevelled Cas in the living room.

‘Come on, bud, get dressed. We’re going out.’

‘Where?’

‘A bar. We need a change of scenery.’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘Too bad, we’re going. If I have to drag you into the shower I will.’ Cas blushed and grumbled and dragged his feet, but he went to the bathroom on his own, and half an hour later he looked presentable if a bit grumpy. Once at the bar they found a booth, and a waitress soon came over. She was young and pretty, and Dean prepared to put on the old Winchester charm.

‘Hi there. What can I get you boys?’

‘Evenin’ sweetheart. We’ll start with two beers, two shots of Jack, and some fries.’

The waitress smiled, as unable to resist as any other red-blooded female. ‘Comin’ right up.’ Out of habit, Dean watched her walk away, then turned back to Cas. The grumpy expression was still there, but Dean figured a few drinks would loosen him up. The girl returned quickly with their drinks. ‘The name’s Meg, just shout if you need anything.’

‘Thank you, Meg,’ Dean grinned. ‘Cas, did you hear that? Her name’s Meg.’ Cas just frowned, downed his shot, and chugged his beer to the bottom. ‘Uh, ok, guess I’m the DD.’ Shortly thereafter Meg returned with their fries.

‘Anything else for you boys?’ she asked Dean.

‘Two beers and four shots of Jack,’ Cas demanded gruffly.

‘Sure thing.’

‘Thirsty, Cas?’ Dean asked once she was gone.

‘Yes.’

‘OK then.’

Meg brought the drinks and walked away again with a wink at Dean. Cas positively scowled as he pulled them all to his side of the table, lining up the shots and then downing them in quick succession. He took a little longer over the beers, but soon enough they were gone too.

‘OK Cas, that’s enough, maybe we should go get some fresh air.’ He raised a hand and Meg sauntered over. ‘Check please, darlin’.’

‘Sure thing, boys, just a minute.’ Dean winked and picked up his beer to finish it.

‘Dean, are you going to fornicate with that waitress?’ Dean choked and almost spit the beer all over Cas.

‘What?’

‘The waitress. Are you planning to fornicate with her? You’re both being very flirtatious.’

‘Can you please not say fornicate quite so loudly?’ Dean hissed. ‘No, OK? Geez, what’s the matter with you, jealous or something?’ Cas blushed. ‘Ha! Wait, do _you_ want to fornicate with the waitress? Just because she’s called Meg?’ Cas actually rolled his eyes.

‘No I do not!’

‘Oh, right, so you’re saying you wanna fornicate with me,’ he joked. Cas blushed and scrunched down in the booth.

‘Don’t be absurd,’ he said in a small voice. Dean’s heart dropped. And then it became clear. The wrong vessel. It was the wrong vessel because Cas knew that Dean liked women. And the angel movie- he’d gotten particularly upset when the love interest of the fallen angel had died, making the whole thing pointless. _Oh. Well, then_.

‘Come on, let’s get out of here,’ Dean said as the waitress brought the check with another wink. Cas picked it up and scoffed.

‘I get off at 11. 555-2437.’ Dean snatched the paper from Cas’s hand, checked the total, and left it and the money on the table.

‘I said I wasn’t interested,’ he said softly. ‘Come on.’ He stood and pulled Cas up from the booth. Once out to the Impala, he rolled down the passenger window and made Cas stick his head out as he drove home. Back at the bunker, he put on a strong brew of coffee and made Cas drink two cups with extra sugar to perk him up. ‘Now do you wanna tell me what that was about?’

‘I’m sorry, Dean,’ said a slightly more sober Castiel, leaning against the kitchen counter. ‘I think I was still upset about the movie. I won’t prevent your fornication again.’ Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed Cas by the shoulder.

‘I wasn’t interested in that girl. Yeah, I flirted with her, I always flirt with waitresses, I don’t even know I’m doing it half the time. It’s just a habit.’ Cas looked shamefaced.

‘I’m sorry. Do you want me to go away?’

‘What? No. I just want you to tell me what’s going on with you tonight.’ _Tell me so I can tell you_.

‘I can’t. I… I don’t know.’

‘Look at me and tell me that,’ Dean demanded, leaning in closer. Cas looked up briefly, but looked down again before replying.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Dammit, Cas.’ Dean moved the hand that had been on Cas’s shoulder up to his jaw and tilted his face up. The big blue eyes had only a split second to look confused before Dean kissed him. A startled little cry came from Cas’s throat, and Dean pulled back a couple of inches.

‘Dean, please don’t… I know this is the wrong vessel.’ Dean kissed him again.

‘This is the right vessel, Cas. Trust me.’ This time when Dean kissed him, Cas kissed back. It was tentative at first, but as Dean opened the kiss and flicked his tongue into Cas’s mouth, Cas seemed to come alive. He grabbed Dean by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him closer. ‘Very good vessel,’ Dean confirmed as he came up for breath.

‘But Dean, you like females. How can this be the right vessel?’ Cas asked as Dean began kissing his neck.

‘Because you’re in it, dumbass. You’re the one I want.’ Cas pushed Dean away and looked him dead in the eye.

‘You really want me? The way I want you?’ Dean smiled and shrugged.

‘You said it yourself, sometimes good things do happen.’

‘But usually not to us.’

‘Hey, I think the universe owes us a little fuckin’ payback.’ Cas wasn’t given much time to ponder this deep philosophical insight, as Dean had claimed his mouth again, and that was very distracting. Even more distracting was Dean pushing him up onto the counter and standing between his thighs. Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist. ‘Jeeesus, Cas,’ Dean moaned. ‘Maybe we should move this elsewhere. Sam could come home any time now.’

‘I hear you have a really nice mattress,’ Cas found himself saying, and blushed at his own boldness.

‘Oh hell yes,’ Dean agreed. Cas hopped off the counter and Dean grabbed his hand, practically running to his bedroom. He closed and locked the door as soon as they were in and grabbed Cas for another round of serious making out. When Dean moved his arms to take off his jacket, Cas took the opportunity to pull away.

‘Dean, wait.’ Dean stopped with his arms halfway out of his jacket and let his head drop to his chest.

‘Do you want to talk about feelings first?’

‘Only very briefly,’ Cas assured him. ‘I just want to be clear that I have no desire to be one of your floozies.’

‘Floozies?’

‘Yes. I have loved you since I touched your soul in Hell. A single night of physical affection is not what I want.’ Dean threw off the jacket and pulled Cas back into his arms.

‘Do you think it’s normal for me to go around having one night stands with former angels in male vessels? Fuck’s sake Cas, of course I love you.’ Cas positively shone with delight, and he expressed himself on the occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a fallen angel violently in love can be supposed to do.

‘I lied in the bar,’ Cas panted as Dean returned to the neck kisses that had been interrupted in the kitchen.

‘Hmm?’

‘I implied that I didn’t want to fornicate with you. That isn’t true. I very much want to fornicate with you.’

‘Good, ‘cause I think we’re headin’ that way,’ Dean teased, pulling Cas’s shirt out of his jeans. ‘Taking some clothes off would help with that.’

‘If I still had my powers I would be able to take them off instantly,’ Cas replied, annoyance obvious in his voice, like taking clothes off manually was another of those irritating things humans had to deal with that he just didn’t understand.

‘It’s OK, I like this bit anyway.’ He made swift work of the buttons on Cas’s shirt and pushed it off; the undershirt was next, and then he went to work on the belt. Cas claimed another kiss, pressing against him. Dean’s fingers stumbled a little over the buttons of the jeans, but soon enough the denim was pooled around Cas’s ankles.

‘Take yours off too,’ Cas demanded as he stepped back and out of his shoes and jeans. Dean practically ripped his shirt off, and cursed at the time it took to get his boots off. Finally they were both standing just in their boxers, and Dean crushed against Cas before he lost his nerve.

‘Want you so bad, Cas,’ Dean murmured, walking them towards the bed. ‘So damn bad.’

‘You have me,’ Cas gasped as Dean finally put his hand down the front of Cas’s shorts. ‘What will you do with me?’

Dean bit Cas’s earlobe and whispered, ‘I’m gonna make you scream.’

**********

Dean woke up to knocking on his bedroom door and Sam shouting. The bed was empty, and he’d almost have thought it was a dream until he saw Cas’s jeans and t-shirt lying on the floor at the far side of the bed. Smiling groggily, he opened the door.

‘Dammit Dean, I can’t believe you!’

‘What?’

‘Don’t worry, I waited until she went to the bathroom. Seriously Dean, were you really that desperate to get laid that you had to bring her home?’

‘Who?’

‘I don’t know, whatever bar floozy I heard you having loud sex with last night.’

‘Loud sex?’

‘Yeah, headboard banging, orgasmic screaming loud sex that I could hear from my room.’ Dean smirked.

‘Oh yeah, loud sex.’

‘It’s not funny Dean! You compromised the bunker by bringing her here! What the hell were you thinking? How drunk were you?’

‘Sam, it’s really not what you’re thinking.’

‘Oh, you didn’t bring some girl home from the bar last night?’

‘No.’

‘Then what-‘

‘Good morning Sam,’ said Cas, sleepily scratching his head as he walked back to Dean’s room in white undershirt and boxers.

‘Hey Cas,’ Sam replied automatically.

‘Morning Dean,’ Cas yawned, kissing his cheek on his way back in and climbing back into bed. Sam stared as Cas started snoring softly.

‘Uh. That’s Cas.’

‘Yeah.’

‘He’s in your bed.’

‘Yup.’

‘Was he there last night?’

‘Sure was.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah.’

‘OK. So I’m just going to go cut open my skull and pour bleach directly onto my brain.’

‘Have fun with that.’


End file.
